Personal Accountability

I can't stand what I call "Reactive Parents!" What I mean is the type that makes a big fuss about defending their child when they feel the child has been wronged, instead of possibly doing some productive parenting ahead of time to have potentially avoided the situation. Today I'll address a pair of specific examples in the news recently.

You may have seen the recent story regarding "Sexting" that led to a girl's suicide. First of all, you may not agree, but in MY opinion, when a youth commits suicide, the parents have failed to convey some measure of love to that child. If you have properly shown your child that they have unconditional love from their family, and have taught that child the proper respect for life, there is nothing that can get them so distraught that they'll resort to suicide. In this particular case, the young lady took some suggestive photos with her cell phone camera and sent them to a friend. Somehow, those photos got circulated throughout her peers and she became unbearably embarrassed, and took her own life. Her parents have actually filed a lawsuit against her school for not doing enough to keep her from being harassed by the other students.

Is it just me or does anyone else believe that the whole matter of culpability lies in the fact that she took the pictures and sent them herself?!! The pictures weren't secretly taken or stolen by someone else. SHE took nude photos of herself, and SHE sent them to a friend. You can say that the friend wasn't supposed to share the photos with others, but the fact remains that had there been no photos in the first place, they couldn't have been shared! Instead of "reacting" by filing lawsuits after their daughter's death, maybe the parents' time could've been better spent teaching their daughter the possible consequences of taking nude photos.

And then there's Yearbook Mom. I saw a story the other day about a mother and daughter who didn't like the daughter's yearbook picture and wanted the school to stop distribution of the yearbook, and have it reprinted without the questionable photo. Here's their story...

The student knew yearbook pictures were being taken, so she decided not to wear underwear that day so the photos wouldn't show pantylines. When the photo was published, there is some question as to whether her bare crotch could be seen. The student and her mother believe it is visible, while the school maintains that it's merely a shadow. Shadow or not, now the girl is horribly embarrassed and her mother is outraged, and wants action taken.

Again, I go back to the choice that the student made for herself. She KNEW photos would be taken, and thought ahead enough to try to avoid pantylines, yet it never occurred to her to make sure she wore a dress of appropriate length?? My first question as a parent would've been to my daughter, asking "Why were you wearing a dress that short? You thought to make sure a line wouldn't show through your clothes, but never thought that maybe you should make sure your genitalia was covered??"

Where is personal accountability these days? Instead of running to the nearest authority and proclaiming how you've been wronged, how about taking a moment to step back and think how you may have prevented the situation from occurring in the first place.