I'm back and I'm annoyed. Part of my disposition probably has to do with the fact that the Redskins suck, have a horrible owner, and will continue to suck until he sells the team! Part of my disposition probably has to do with my 22 year old offspring who "just doesn't get it!" But neither of those are the source of today venom.
I really get annoyed at people who attack celebrities for no reason at all. Few people deserve to be attacked as it is, but I hate when people take shots at someone simply because it's a celebrity.
I am really sick of how people are reacting to the David Letterman admission of sex issue. What do you want from him?? I mean, instead of lying about it like many folks have, he didn't succumb to the extortion, co-operated with authorities and came clean with his viewers. Would they rather he lied about it and paid to have it all go away? What would've been the better way to have handle it?
I'm sick of hearing him ridiculed for "taking advantage of staff members." I've watched the video of what he said...I've read police accounts about the investigation, and at NO point has it been mentioned that anyone was taken advantage of. Why is it that when a man has sex with one of his employees, he's instantly crucified for doing something wrong? Maybe they were acts between consenting adults. Maybe she took advantage of him. Maybe she had a habit of showing up naked on his desk every Friday at 9:05am. The fact is, we don't know!!
Why did he apologize? Maybe it was because he knew the feeding frenzy that would occur if any of the media found out about someone else he was having sex with. By most accounts, David Letterman is a private kinda guy, so he's probably sensitive to guarding other people's privacy. Whether consensual or not, some people don't like their business all out there. Maybe he was apologizing to those women for the privacy invasion that is sure to follow.
The fact is that none of us knows what really happened and I am sick of people instantly jumping to assume the worse of others, and perpetuating potentially unsubstantiated innuendo.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Friday, July 24, 2009
Police Behavior...Part 2
...however, reading in the police report that he yelled something in reference to how a Black man gets treated in America, sounds like there is a "history" there.
To me, there are three possibilities as to what happened in this case: a) ID was produced and police acted inappropriately, b) ID was not produced, police acted appropriately, and Mr Gates is throwing out the "race card" to try to get out of the situation, or c) police acted appropriately in THIS situation, but Mr Gates behaved out of past frustration. The more that I look at the facts as I have seen them, I am starting to think that Option C is most likely.
Having a lot of diverse friends from many races and cultures, I like to generally think in terms of ways that we are all similar in many experiences that we share. I usually prefer to think of the America of 2009 as being so much easier for me, as a Black man, than it was for my parents. Much more of American society embraces racial equally than ever before. However, we can't forget that we are only one generation removed from government mandated racism, so we can't be completely surprised when racism rears its ugly head today. In my forty years, there have been several occasions where I, and people I know, have been detained by law enforcement when doing nothing wrong. I've had an officer draw his gun on me, thinking I was the criminal, when I was the one reporting the incident. So...it happens...it does happen.
And the unfortunate truth is that when something like that happens, more often than not, the fraternity of police sticks together. This is in NO way an indictment of all, or even most police officers. I'm sure that most of them go about doing their jobs in the proper fashion. However, there are some out there who abuse their authority to perpetuate their racist views, and it's really hard to get one officer to speak out against another. To me, it sounds like Mr Gates may have had some previous dealings with police that may have been unfair, and when this situation occurred, he reacted to his history of treatment, and not so much to the incident at hand.
Again...that's just my opinion. None of us knows exactly what happened in Cambridge. So remember that before you rush to judge either party in the situation.
To me, there are three possibilities as to what happened in this case: a) ID was produced and police acted inappropriately, b) ID was not produced, police acted appropriately, and Mr Gates is throwing out the "race card" to try to get out of the situation, or c) police acted appropriately in THIS situation, but Mr Gates behaved out of past frustration. The more that I look at the facts as I have seen them, I am starting to think that Option C is most likely.
Having a lot of diverse friends from many races and cultures, I like to generally think in terms of ways that we are all similar in many experiences that we share. I usually prefer to think of the America of 2009 as being so much easier for me, as a Black man, than it was for my parents. Much more of American society embraces racial equally than ever before. However, we can't forget that we are only one generation removed from government mandated racism, so we can't be completely surprised when racism rears its ugly head today. In my forty years, there have been several occasions where I, and people I know, have been detained by law enforcement when doing nothing wrong. I've had an officer draw his gun on me, thinking I was the criminal, when I was the one reporting the incident. So...it happens...it does happen.
And the unfortunate truth is that when something like that happens, more often than not, the fraternity of police sticks together. This is in NO way an indictment of all, or even most police officers. I'm sure that most of them go about doing their jobs in the proper fashion. However, there are some out there who abuse their authority to perpetuate their racist views, and it's really hard to get one officer to speak out against another. To me, it sounds like Mr Gates may have had some previous dealings with police that may have been unfair, and when this situation occurred, he reacted to his history of treatment, and not so much to the incident at hand.
Again...that's just my opinion. None of us knows exactly what happened in Cambridge. So remember that before you rush to judge either party in the situation.
Police Behavior...Part 1
**Warning: Possible Controversial Opinion**
So I've been reading the details of the Cambridge, MA arrest of the African American professor in his home. I am torn in my feelings, because what I feel is the key to the actions that took place, is in question.
I've read the police report, I've read the arresting officer's account of what occurred, I've even read Mr. Gates' account of what happened, and none of them mentioned that Mr. Gates initially produced ID as to his identity and proof that he lived at that location. Only Mr. Gates' lawyer has stated that identification was produced immediately in the situation. In my mind, that's the key to why the police acted how they did in THIS situation.
As a homeowner, I would think that Mr. Gates would be glad that police were so quick to respond to reports of someone breaking into his home. The police were there to investigate what they believed was a crime, and acted accordingly. If, in fact Mr. Gates did not produce identification, then the police were well within their rights, and did not deserve to be treated how they were treated.
What troubles me is the thought process of Mr. Gates in the first place. He is a professor, so he is obviously a bright man. He was said to have been returning from a trip to China, and "broke in" because he couldn't find his keys. I don't know about there, but in my neighborhood, folks look out for each other, so knowing that Gates was out of town, a neighbor could've been quick to pick up the phone to protect his neighbor's house. How could've it have been handled better? If you are going off to a foreign country, leave a key with a neighbor. If you realize that you are locked out, call the police to get them to help you get into the house.
From all evidence that I've read, Mr Gates could've done so many things differently, to have avoided this particular situation...
So I've been reading the details of the Cambridge, MA arrest of the African American professor in his home. I am torn in my feelings, because what I feel is the key to the actions that took place, is in question.
I've read the police report, I've read the arresting officer's account of what occurred, I've even read Mr. Gates' account of what happened, and none of them mentioned that Mr. Gates initially produced ID as to his identity and proof that he lived at that location. Only Mr. Gates' lawyer has stated that identification was produced immediately in the situation. In my mind, that's the key to why the police acted how they did in THIS situation.
As a homeowner, I would think that Mr. Gates would be glad that police were so quick to respond to reports of someone breaking into his home. The police were there to investigate what they believed was a crime, and acted accordingly. If, in fact Mr. Gates did not produce identification, then the police were well within their rights, and did not deserve to be treated how they were treated.
What troubles me is the thought process of Mr. Gates in the first place. He is a professor, so he is obviously a bright man. He was said to have been returning from a trip to China, and "broke in" because he couldn't find his keys. I don't know about there, but in my neighborhood, folks look out for each other, so knowing that Gates was out of town, a neighbor could've been quick to pick up the phone to protect his neighbor's house. How could've it have been handled better? If you are going off to a foreign country, leave a key with a neighbor. If you realize that you are locked out, call the police to get them to help you get into the house.
From all evidence that I've read, Mr Gates could've done so many things differently, to have avoided this particular situation...
Saturday, June 27, 2009
MJ Karma
You know me...I'm not afraid to take an unpopular stand, so here we go.
It is no secret that I am a believer in karma. Well, that five letter word has been in my mind over the past couple of days. Be it television, radio, or online, just about every media outlet has been saturated with coverage of the death of Michael Jackson. I saw a distraught fan on television say, "I can't believe he's gone! Why would God take such a talented soul from us so soon?!" Without hesitation, I blurted out, "Karma!"
In my opinion (and MY opinion is the very reason that I have a blog) Michael Jackson was a tremendous talent. He was blessed with the gift of musical communication. There are some folks who can "sing" and some folks who communicate when they deliver songs. MJ's music was delivered in such a fashion that it attracted fans from every corner of society. Those who appreciated his music spanned all strata of people regardless of ethnicity, wealth or religion. He was a true "performer" in that when he developed his stage shows, it was equally important to be visually and musically satisfied. The singing, the dancing, the production...they were all things that you could count on when you bought a ticket to an MJ concert. There can be very little debate that MJ was a very special individual, and that his body housed a unique God-given talent. His body was the vessel chosen to share this talent with the world.
How did he choose to show his appreciation for the gifts that he was given? By taking it into his own hands to alter and carve up the vessel for that talent to look like what he THOUGHT he wanted. I say "thought" because it is very obvious that MJ had more than one plastic surgery, meaning that after the first time, he still wasn't happy with how he looked, so he went back for more. To me it was like he was addressing God by saying, "Ok, so...thanks for that whole talented singer and dancer thing, but you clearly messed up when you made my nose and my chin. Oh, and my skin color? Cmon...what were you thinking?" And finally, God responded by saying, "Oh well, if you're that unhappy with how I've made you, you don't need to be on Earth any longer."
Karma.
It is no secret that I am a believer in karma. Well, that five letter word has been in my mind over the past couple of days. Be it television, radio, or online, just about every media outlet has been saturated with coverage of the death of Michael Jackson. I saw a distraught fan on television say, "I can't believe he's gone! Why would God take such a talented soul from us so soon?!" Without hesitation, I blurted out, "Karma!"
In my opinion (and MY opinion is the very reason that I have a blog) Michael Jackson was a tremendous talent. He was blessed with the gift of musical communication. There are some folks who can "sing" and some folks who communicate when they deliver songs. MJ's music was delivered in such a fashion that it attracted fans from every corner of society. Those who appreciated his music spanned all strata of people regardless of ethnicity, wealth or religion. He was a true "performer" in that when he developed his stage shows, it was equally important to be visually and musically satisfied. The singing, the dancing, the production...they were all things that you could count on when you bought a ticket to an MJ concert. There can be very little debate that MJ was a very special individual, and that his body housed a unique God-given talent. His body was the vessel chosen to share this talent with the world.
How did he choose to show his appreciation for the gifts that he was given? By taking it into his own hands to alter and carve up the vessel for that talent to look like what he THOUGHT he wanted. I say "thought" because it is very obvious that MJ had more than one plastic surgery, meaning that after the first time, he still wasn't happy with how he looked, so he went back for more. To me it was like he was addressing God by saying, "Ok, so...thanks for that whole talented singer and dancer thing, but you clearly messed up when you made my nose and my chin. Oh, and my skin color? Cmon...what were you thinking?" And finally, God responded by saying, "Oh well, if you're that unhappy with how I've made you, you don't need to be on Earth any longer."
Karma.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
S.H.
I was subjected to a Sexual Harrassment Training class today at work. Let's put aside the fact that I work in an office with only heterosexual males, I went into the training with an open mind. I came away really annoyed at my company's policies regarding SH.
The trainer spent 90% of the time focusing on the male harrassing female scenarios, when it is my belief that a strong woman in a corporate setting is much more dangerous with regard to SH. She knows that in today's society, management is much less likely to believe a woman has harrassed a man, so she could more easily get away with it.
But anyway, there were two examples that specifically frosted my tailfeathers. The trainer said that if an employee came to her and said "I wanted you to be aware that ___ has harrassed me. I don't want you to take any action towards him/her, but I just wanted you to know." In our company, as a manager, she is REQUIRED to file a report against the accused, because she has been made aware of the SH incident. Even if the accuser specifically asks that no action be taken, the manager is not allowed to use personal judgement, and must file a report. That's stupid!
The other example is that we are all "strongly encouraged" to report incidents of SH that we witness, even if it does not involve us directly. WTF?? How can you sufficiently determine if someone else has been harrassed? Suppose you are raised in a rather strict environment were certain touching is inappropriate, and you happened to see one co-worker touch another in a way that YOU feel is inappropriate, but the other two involved have no issue with it at all. How are you going to TELL someone that they are a victim of SH when they don't feel offended??
The final straw, for me, was this lil tidbit. If someone has filed an SH claim against you, you aren't allowed to even say "Why didn't you just come to me and say that you were offended," because our company views that as a potential threat to the accuser. So, to me, that says that instead of talking things out and resolving the matter in a quiet "adult" fashion, your first course of action should be to run like a tattle-tale whenever you see something that might be interpreted as SH. Sheesh!!
The trainer spent 90% of the time focusing on the male harrassing female scenarios, when it is my belief that a strong woman in a corporate setting is much more dangerous with regard to SH. She knows that in today's society, management is much less likely to believe a woman has harrassed a man, so she could more easily get away with it.
But anyway, there were two examples that specifically frosted my tailfeathers. The trainer said that if an employee came to her and said "I wanted you to be aware that ___ has harrassed me. I don't want you to take any action towards him/her, but I just wanted you to know." In our company, as a manager, she is REQUIRED to file a report against the accused, because she has been made aware of the SH incident. Even if the accuser specifically asks that no action be taken, the manager is not allowed to use personal judgement, and must file a report. That's stupid!
The other example is that we are all "strongly encouraged" to report incidents of SH that we witness, even if it does not involve us directly. WTF?? How can you sufficiently determine if someone else has been harrassed? Suppose you are raised in a rather strict environment were certain touching is inappropriate, and you happened to see one co-worker touch another in a way that YOU feel is inappropriate, but the other two involved have no issue with it at all. How are you going to TELL someone that they are a victim of SH when they don't feel offended??
The final straw, for me, was this lil tidbit. If someone has filed an SH claim against you, you aren't allowed to even say "Why didn't you just come to me and say that you were offended," because our company views that as a potential threat to the accuser. So, to me, that says that instead of talking things out and resolving the matter in a quiet "adult" fashion, your first course of action should be to run like a tattle-tale whenever you see something that might be interpreted as SH. Sheesh!!
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Personal Accountability
I can't stand what I call "Reactive Parents!" What I mean is the type that makes a big fuss about defending their child when they feel the child has been wronged, instead of possibly doing some productive parenting ahead of time to have potentially avoided the situation. Today I'll address a pair of specific examples in the news recently.
You may have seen the recent story regarding "Sexting" that led to a girl's suicide. First of all, you may not agree, but in MY opinion, when a youth commits suicide, the parents have failed to convey some measure of love to that child. If you have properly shown your child that they have unconditional love from their family, and have taught that child the proper respect for life, there is nothing that can get them so distraught that they'll resort to suicide. In this particular case, the young lady took some suggestive photos with her cell phone camera and sent them to a friend. Somehow, those photos got circulated throughout her peers and she became unbearably embarrassed, and took her own life. Her parents have actually filed a lawsuit against her school for not doing enough to keep her from being harassed by the other students.
Is it just me or does anyone else believe that the whole matter of culpability lies in the fact that she took the pictures and sent them herself?!! The pictures weren't secretly taken or stolen by someone else. SHE took nude photos of herself, and SHE sent them to a friend. You can say that the friend wasn't supposed to share the photos with others, but the fact remains that had there been no photos in the first place, they couldn't have been shared! Instead of "reacting" by filing lawsuits after their daughter's death, maybe the parents' time could've been better spent teaching their daughter the possible consequences of taking nude photos.
And then there's Yearbook Mom. I saw a story the other day about a mother and daughter who didn't like the daughter's yearbook picture and wanted the school to stop distribution of the yearbook, and have it reprinted without the questionable photo. Here's their story...
The student knew yearbook pictures were being taken, so she decided not to wear underwear that day so the photos wouldn't show pantylines. When the photo was published, there is some question as to whether her bare crotch could be seen. The student and her mother believe it is visible, while the school maintains that it's merely a shadow. Shadow or not, now the girl is horribly embarrassed and her mother is outraged, and wants action taken.
Again, I go back to the choice that the student made for herself. She KNEW photos would be taken, and thought ahead enough to try to avoid pantylines, yet it never occurred to her to make sure she wore a dress of appropriate length?? My first question as a parent would've been to my daughter, asking "Why were you wearing a dress that short? You thought to make sure a line wouldn't show through your clothes, but never thought that maybe you should make sure your genitalia was covered??"
Where is personal accountability these days? Instead of running to the nearest authority and proclaiming how you've been wronged, how about taking a moment to step back and think how you may have prevented the situation from occurring in the first place.
You may have seen the recent story regarding "Sexting" that led to a girl's suicide. First of all, you may not agree, but in MY opinion, when a youth commits suicide, the parents have failed to convey some measure of love to that child. If you have properly shown your child that they have unconditional love from their family, and have taught that child the proper respect for life, there is nothing that can get them so distraught that they'll resort to suicide. In this particular case, the young lady took some suggestive photos with her cell phone camera and sent them to a friend. Somehow, those photos got circulated throughout her peers and she became unbearably embarrassed, and took her own life. Her parents have actually filed a lawsuit against her school for not doing enough to keep her from being harassed by the other students.
Is it just me or does anyone else believe that the whole matter of culpability lies in the fact that she took the pictures and sent them herself?!! The pictures weren't secretly taken or stolen by someone else. SHE took nude photos of herself, and SHE sent them to a friend. You can say that the friend wasn't supposed to share the photos with others, but the fact remains that had there been no photos in the first place, they couldn't have been shared! Instead of "reacting" by filing lawsuits after their daughter's death, maybe the parents' time could've been better spent teaching their daughter the possible consequences of taking nude photos.
And then there's Yearbook Mom. I saw a story the other day about a mother and daughter who didn't like the daughter's yearbook picture and wanted the school to stop distribution of the yearbook, and have it reprinted without the questionable photo. Here's their story...
The student knew yearbook pictures were being taken, so she decided not to wear underwear that day so the photos wouldn't show pantylines. When the photo was published, there is some question as to whether her bare crotch could be seen. The student and her mother believe it is visible, while the school maintains that it's merely a shadow. Shadow or not, now the girl is horribly embarrassed and her mother is outraged, and wants action taken.
Again, I go back to the choice that the student made for herself. She KNEW photos would be taken, and thought ahead enough to try to avoid pantylines, yet it never occurred to her to make sure she wore a dress of appropriate length?? My first question as a parent would've been to my daughter, asking "Why were you wearing a dress that short? You thought to make sure a line wouldn't show through your clothes, but never thought that maybe you should make sure your genitalia was covered??"
Where is personal accountability these days? Instead of running to the nearest authority and proclaiming how you've been wronged, how about taking a moment to step back and think how you may have prevented the situation from occurring in the first place.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Be Positive
The weather in my area has been quite beautiful lately. Wherever you may be, I have a task for you to accomplish the next time you look outside and notice how beautiful the weather is. I know that many of us have crazy schedules and work keeps you busy, but just slow down, take five minutes of time alone to sit and think about what you are thankful for.
If you commit to doing it, the task is not very difficult. Maybe take a walk during your lunch break, sit quietly in the car before you pull out of the parking lot, find a nearby park...whatever you have to do, just do it.
We all have something to be thankful for! Without getting too spiritual, you can be thankful that you have a loving family, thankful that you have/had caring parents, thankful that you have an income during this strained economy.
On the surface, you may think that this is a silly exercise, but you'd be amazed at how much better you feel when you take a moment to focus on the positives in your life. So often, we get caught up in the negatives and the stress around us, that we forget about the wonderful things that we have access to in our lives.
I watched the news recently and saw the story of David Kellermann, acting CFO of Fannie Mae, who took his own life. I watched as they wheeled his body out of his $900k home, and instantly thought "I'm sure that there are people less than 15 minutes from that house, who fight everyday to live on the streets with no home, and THIS man thought his life was so bad that he had nothing to live for?!" Ask yourself...do you think Mr. Kellermann ever stopped to think about what he had to be thankful for?
If you commit to doing it, the task is not very difficult. Maybe take a walk during your lunch break, sit quietly in the car before you pull out of the parking lot, find a nearby park...whatever you have to do, just do it.
We all have something to be thankful for! Without getting too spiritual, you can be thankful that you have a loving family, thankful that you have/had caring parents, thankful that you have an income during this strained economy.
On the surface, you may think that this is a silly exercise, but you'd be amazed at how much better you feel when you take a moment to focus on the positives in your life. So often, we get caught up in the negatives and the stress around us, that we forget about the wonderful things that we have access to in our lives.
I watched the news recently and saw the story of David Kellermann, acting CFO of Fannie Mae, who took his own life. I watched as they wheeled his body out of his $900k home, and instantly thought "I'm sure that there are people less than 15 minutes from that house, who fight everyday to live on the streets with no home, and THIS man thought his life was so bad that he had nothing to live for?!" Ask yourself...do you think Mr. Kellermann ever stopped to think about what he had to be thankful for?
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Happy Sunday
Ok...this is going to catch some of you by surprise but, it's only 130p and I've really enjoyed my day thus far. Why? Because it felt good to go to church this morning!
I'm not an overly spiritual person, but there are times like this morning, where it just "feels right" to sitting in church. I was feeling a bit sluggish this morning, but once I got into the sanctuary and starting singing and feeling the music, my spirit was truly lifted, as I stood there in the choir loft and sang the words:
I'm not an overly spiritual person, but there are times like this morning, where it just "feels right" to sitting in church. I was feeling a bit sluggish this morning, but once I got into the sanctuary and starting singing and feeling the music, my spirit was truly lifted, as I stood there in the choir loft and sang the words:
"I Love You Jesus
I worship and adore You
Just want to tell
Lord, I Love You more than anything."
I found myself sitting there during the message, saying my own private prayer of thanks, "Thank you Lord for bringing me here to this place. We both know that I am a sinner and that I have many faults. But thank you for at least guiding me to not do wrong at this particular moment, and to be in your house. Thank you for using music as the tool to have me come into your house, and hear your word. I could be listening to, or singing anything...but instead, I am here, singing your praises this morning, and it makes my heart feel good. Thank you!"
What a wonderful day!
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Hmmm...I wonderland
Hold on tight...we're about to go to a portion of my brain that doesn't get visited very often. It's called Hmmm...I wonderland. I'm a person who usually prefers to make a decision, live with it, and not look back. 90% of the time, that philosophy has worked for me in life, so I roll with it.
Every now and then it's human to look back and think "What if....?"
"What if I would've gotten then hint when my prom date asked me to unzip her dress?"
"What if I would've actually gone to class in high school?"
"What if I wasn't introduced to porn at such a young age?"
A little while ago, I had a brief "what if..." moment that I had to get over quickly, and move on, simply because I'm a grown up and that's what grown ups do!
Let me explain: there's a young lady from my past that, for years, I had looked at as "the one who got away." I don't want to embarrass her, or put her out there like that, so for this passage, she shall remain nameless.
There was a time when we were very close friends...so close that I developed an infatuation for her. However, I never told her about it. Oddly enough, for a person who doesn't succumb to regret, for many years, not telling her how I felt, sat there in the back of my mind. Try as I might, I wasn't able to let it go. I'd find myself sitting somewhere, start to think about the period of time when we were friends, and hopelessly wonder how she was. There was this one time that I "swore" I saw her in the parking lot of a Grateful Dead concert, but the lovely woman who I spoke to was not her at all. It's amazing what shrooms and bowls of pot will cause you to see!
Several years ago, I found myself at a park, beneath a big beautiful tree, in the mood to do some writing. A woman and her daughter walked by and she reminded me of my crush from years ago, so I decided that I needed to get these feelings out of me. So I laid there and wrote her a poem, saying all the things that had been on my mind. Of course, I had NO intention on ever letting her read my words...it was strictly for my mental health. That mental exercise worked wonders! Years went by and I barely even thought about her. All was fine and dandy...and then after many years of no contact at all, we re-connected.
I saw her eyes, her smile, and for a few moments, I was back in school all over again! I got nervous at first, but then I thought back to my poem. There was nothing to be nervous about...she knew how I felt, and it was ok...or at least that's what I told myself. I took a deep breath, gathered my composure, and we had a lovely time conversing as old friends catching up...and I avoided taking the exit marked "Hmmm...I wonderland"
Every now and then it's human to look back and think "What if....?"
"What if I would've gotten then hint when my prom date asked me to unzip her dress?"
"What if I would've actually gone to class in high school?"
"What if I wasn't introduced to porn at such a young age?"
A little while ago, I had a brief "what if..." moment that I had to get over quickly, and move on, simply because I'm a grown up and that's what grown ups do!
Let me explain: there's a young lady from my past that, for years, I had looked at as "the one who got away." I don't want to embarrass her, or put her out there like that, so for this passage, she shall remain nameless.
There was a time when we were very close friends...so close that I developed an infatuation for her. However, I never told her about it. Oddly enough, for a person who doesn't succumb to regret, for many years, not telling her how I felt, sat there in the back of my mind. Try as I might, I wasn't able to let it go. I'd find myself sitting somewhere, start to think about the period of time when we were friends, and hopelessly wonder how she was. There was this one time that I "swore" I saw her in the parking lot of a Grateful Dead concert, but the lovely woman who I spoke to was not her at all. It's amazing what shrooms and bowls of pot will cause you to see!
Several years ago, I found myself at a park, beneath a big beautiful tree, in the mood to do some writing. A woman and her daughter walked by and she reminded me of my crush from years ago, so I decided that I needed to get these feelings out of me. So I laid there and wrote her a poem, saying all the things that had been on my mind. Of course, I had NO intention on ever letting her read my words...it was strictly for my mental health. That mental exercise worked wonders! Years went by and I barely even thought about her. All was fine and dandy...and then after many years of no contact at all, we re-connected.
I saw her eyes, her smile, and for a few moments, I was back in school all over again! I got nervous at first, but then I thought back to my poem. There was nothing to be nervous about...she knew how I felt, and it was ok...or at least that's what I told myself. I took a deep breath, gathered my composure, and we had a lovely time conversing as old friends catching up...and I avoided taking the exit marked "Hmmm...I wonderland"
Thursday, April 2, 2009
The Return of #28
Ok...it's time to start Blogging again. It is time to get back into that wonderfully pretentious habit that many of us know and love so much. I call it pretentious because what makes me think that anyone gives a damn about what I have to say about anything?? Why is my voice that important that someone wants to spend time out of his/her day to read what I have to say??
And then I answer that question by saying "Actually...I don't give a damn! This is MY personal therapy." So, I invite anyone who chooses to read my musings to enjoy yourself along the journey into the inner me. Trust me, it's a scary, dangerous place, but it's a place that features a lot of deep thoughts, opinions, emotions, and occasionally some really funny stuff. (Not nearly as funny as the things in Rick Younger's life, found at rickyounger.blogspot.com, but he's a damn professional!)
Today's blog is a brief message about how you need to get back on the horse of life, after it has thrown you. Let me explain: those of you close to me, know that my father in law just passed away after a very quick battle with diabetes. A battle which saw him have both feet amputated just a month before his passing. Well, my wife shared an incident with me today, that initially got me in trouble for laughing, but once I pleaded my case, she understood why I HAD to laugh.
She told me about how her mother was choosing an outfit for my father in law to be buried in, and how she was asked for her opinion. She looked over what her mother had chosen: Nice suit, shirt, tie, accessories...and then she looked over the ensemble and said "Ma, you forgot his socks!" At that point in the story, I kinda lost it, and began laughing. She finally realized...a moment like that can make you laugh or cry, and at this moment, I'm about cried out for a lil while.
And then I answer that question by saying "Actually...I don't give a damn! This is MY personal therapy." So, I invite anyone who chooses to read my musings to enjoy yourself along the journey into the inner me. Trust me, it's a scary, dangerous place, but it's a place that features a lot of deep thoughts, opinions, emotions, and occasionally some really funny stuff. (Not nearly as funny as the things in Rick Younger's life, found at rickyounger.blogspot.com, but he's a damn professional!)
Today's blog is a brief message about how you need to get back on the horse of life, after it has thrown you. Let me explain: those of you close to me, know that my father in law just passed away after a very quick battle with diabetes. A battle which saw him have both feet amputated just a month before his passing. Well, my wife shared an incident with me today, that initially got me in trouble for laughing, but once I pleaded my case, she understood why I HAD to laugh.
She told me about how her mother was choosing an outfit for my father in law to be buried in, and how she was asked for her opinion. She looked over what her mother had chosen: Nice suit, shirt, tie, accessories...and then she looked over the ensemble and said "Ma, you forgot his socks!" At that point in the story, I kinda lost it, and began laughing. She finally realized...a moment like that can make you laugh or cry, and at this moment, I'm about cried out for a lil while.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Todd Bozeman
Many folks wonder what's the big deal about the NCAA basketball tournament aka March Madness. To me, it's simple...all year long, the radio and tv shows cover the "big guys" of college basketball, and the tournament in March is time to hear the rest of the stories. Today, I bring to you a story that carries a very valuable lesson. The subject of today's story is Morgan State head basketball coach Todd Bozeman.
Let's get right to the juicy parts of Bozeman's fame, as it were. In 1993, he took over as head basketball coach at University of California Berkeley, when their coach was fired with ten games remaining in their regular season. Bozeman led the Cal Bears into the NCAA tournament, where they upset two-time defending champion Duke, making Bozeman the youngest coach (29) to ever lead a team to the Sweet Sixteen round. It was a huge upset at the time, but that Cal team featured a pair of would-be NBA talents. Things seemed all rosy for Bozeman, until he was forced to resign iZn the fall of 1996. He admitted to paying 30k over two years, to a recruit's parents to be able to come watch him play. When the young man's playing time decreased, his parents turned Bozeman in to the NCAA. Along with sanctioning the university, the NCAA also imposed an eight-year "show-cause" order on Bozeman. The show-cause order meant that until 2005, no NCAA member school could hire Bozeman without permission. The NCAA came down particularly hard on Bozeman because he'd lied to school and NCAA officials about his role in making the payments. Since most schools will not even consider hiring a coach with an outstanding "show-cause" on his record, Bozeman was effectively blackballed from the college ranks for eight years. Let's get this straight...he didn't keep any money. He gave this money to a kid's parents to be able to come watch their son play ball. And for that, Todd Bozeman had his dream snatched right from within his grasp.
He cheated, he got caught, he paid the ultimate career price. When you pay for a debt with time, that is currency that you can never get back. So, he quietly worked as a scout in the NBA, as his name was totally associated with the word "cheater." He hope that one day, he could get back to the profession that he loved, and was good at, coaching. And then came Morgan State. It was a marriage made in heaven as both sides were hungry for success and both sides were completely desperate with things to prove. Bozeman needed an opportunity, and Morgan State needed someone to come in and change a losing culture. In his three years as the head coach, Bozeman has guided MSU to a 55-40 overall record. And just yesterday, they received the school's first ever invitation to the NCAA tournament.
The great thing is that Bozeman recognizes his story as a teaching tool. He doesn't hide, or shy away from talking about what he did. He is qualified to talk to any young man who might be thinking of doing wrong to get ahead in his career by saying "Look at what I did. I cheated and I lost eight years of my career. That is not the way to go!" He can even address a young man who has done wrong to say, "I cheated, I got caught, and I paid a very expensive price. But I didn't give up, and you don't have to give up either." Whatever angle taken to convey his story, Todd Bozeman's career has given him the perspective to be an excellent teacher...which is exactly what every coach should be.
Let's get right to the juicy parts of Bozeman's fame, as it were. In 1993, he took over as head basketball coach at University of California Berkeley, when their coach was fired with ten games remaining in their regular season. Bozeman led the Cal Bears into the NCAA tournament, where they upset two-time defending champion Duke, making Bozeman the youngest coach (29) to ever lead a team to the Sweet Sixteen round. It was a huge upset at the time, but that Cal team featured a pair of would-be NBA talents. Things seemed all rosy for Bozeman, until he was forced to resign iZn the fall of 1996. He admitted to paying 30k over two years, to a recruit's parents to be able to come watch him play. When the young man's playing time decreased, his parents turned Bozeman in to the NCAA. Along with sanctioning the university, the NCAA also imposed an eight-year "show-cause" order on Bozeman. The show-cause order meant that until 2005, no NCAA member school could hire Bozeman without permission. The NCAA came down particularly hard on Bozeman because he'd lied to school and NCAA officials about his role in making the payments. Since most schools will not even consider hiring a coach with an outstanding "show-cause" on his record, Bozeman was effectively blackballed from the college ranks for eight years. Let's get this straight...he didn't keep any money. He gave this money to a kid's parents to be able to come watch their son play ball. And for that, Todd Bozeman had his dream snatched right from within his grasp.
He cheated, he got caught, he paid the ultimate career price. When you pay for a debt with time, that is currency that you can never get back. So, he quietly worked as a scout in the NBA, as his name was totally associated with the word "cheater." He hope that one day, he could get back to the profession that he loved, and was good at, coaching. And then came Morgan State. It was a marriage made in heaven as both sides were hungry for success and both sides were completely desperate with things to prove. Bozeman needed an opportunity, and Morgan State needed someone to come in and change a losing culture. In his three years as the head coach, Bozeman has guided MSU to a 55-40 overall record. And just yesterday, they received the school's first ever invitation to the NCAA tournament.
The great thing is that Bozeman recognizes his story as a teaching tool. He doesn't hide, or shy away from talking about what he did. He is qualified to talk to any young man who might be thinking of doing wrong to get ahead in his career by saying "Look at what I did. I cheated and I lost eight years of my career. That is not the way to go!" He can even address a young man who has done wrong to say, "I cheated, I got caught, and I paid a very expensive price. But I didn't give up, and you don't have to give up either." Whatever angle taken to convey his story, Todd Bozeman's career has given him the perspective to be an excellent teacher...which is exactly what every coach should be.
Monday, February 2, 2009
My Father In Law
When I originally sat down, I was about to blog about the Super Bowl, but now that will have to wait until the next blog. Suddenly the Super Bowl seems a lot less important after the phone call that I just had with my wife.
To tell the story properly, we have to back up just a bit. For the past six months, my father in law has been having some circulatory problems with his feet. There was some concern that it had to do with his diabetes, so he was being good about sticking to his diet, and increasing his exercise regimen. However, his feet were continuing to worsen. When he and my mother in law came in town (they live in Ocean City) for Cmas, he had trouble even walking. It had gotten so painful that my brother in law had to drive them back home, so my father in law wouldn't have to drive. They left here the Saturday evening after Cmas, and on Monday, my FIL had a doctor's appointment. Well, that appointment led to him having to be immediately admittedly to the hospital, which eventually led to him having some toes removed. He has been in rehab, but of course, this is a lot for him to handle, mentally.
So, my wife just called me and said that she just talked to her brother. The hospital called him to say that my FIL was severely dehydrated, nearly in a diabetic coma state, and to avoid having infection spread, they have to perform emergency amputation on both of his feet.
No matter how hard I try, I can not fathom going to sleep, and then waking up to find my feet are gone. I can't imagine the type of mental strength that it would take to get through that kind of trauma. My FIL is retired Army, retired Baltimore City Govt engineer, active in community and local government issues. For 20 years, he's been the busiest retiree I've ever seen! Always on the go...always independent. And now, from this day forward, life has changed. He will have to learn to accept help from others to do most things that have always been elementary.
To be blatantly honest, what worries me the most is his attitude. My father in law is over 80 years old. He's always been an active and proud man, and a strong leader. I'm scared that he will view this physical setback as a defeating blow, instead of simply an obstacle to overcome. He has many days of rehab ahead of him, just to be able to do basic things on his own again, and I worry that he'll choose not to fight. I worry that he'll think "I'm over 80. I've had a good life. I'm too tired to do the work necessary to get back out there. Just let me fade away quietly." I don't think of him as that type of person, but you never know how you'll react, until faced with the situation.My father in law
To tell the story properly, we have to back up just a bit. For the past six months, my father in law has been having some circulatory problems with his feet. There was some concern that it had to do with his diabetes, so he was being good about sticking to his diet, and increasing his exercise regimen. However, his feet were continuing to worsen. When he and my mother in law came in town (they live in Ocean City) for Cmas, he had trouble even walking. It had gotten so painful that my brother in law had to drive them back home, so my father in law wouldn't have to drive. They left here the Saturday evening after Cmas, and on Monday, my FIL had a doctor's appointment. Well, that appointment led to him having to be immediately admittedly to the hospital, which eventually led to him having some toes removed. He has been in rehab, but of course, this is a lot for him to handle, mentally.
So, my wife just called me and said that she just talked to her brother. The hospital called him to say that my FIL was severely dehydrated, nearly in a diabetic coma state, and to avoid having infection spread, they have to perform emergency amputation on both of his feet.
No matter how hard I try, I can not fathom going to sleep, and then waking up to find my feet are gone. I can't imagine the type of mental strength that it would take to get through that kind of trauma. My FIL is retired Army, retired Baltimore City Govt engineer, active in community and local government issues. For 20 years, he's been the busiest retiree I've ever seen! Always on the go...always independent. And now, from this day forward, life has changed. He will have to learn to accept help from others to do most things that have always been elementary.
To be blatantly honest, what worries me the most is his attitude. My father in law is over 80 years old. He's always been an active and proud man, and a strong leader. I'm scared that he will view this physical setback as a defeating blow, instead of simply an obstacle to overcome. He has many days of rehab ahead of him, just to be able to do basic things on his own again, and I worry that he'll choose not to fight. I worry that he'll think "I'm over 80. I've had a good life. I'm too tired to do the work necessary to get back out there. Just let me fade away quietly." I don't think of him as that type of person, but you never know how you'll react, until faced with the situation.My father in law
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Thankful American
Looking at the historical significance of today's inauguration has made me feel thankful. I have so many people to thank for where this country is today. While I might be a cynical "non-participant" in our political machine, I can still appreciate those who've made sacrifices to allow me the option as to whether or not I choose to be a part of the process.
In no particular order, I'd like to thank our military. Oh sure, some choose military service as an act of patriotism. However, there are some who see the military as their only economic option out of their situation while growing up. Those are the ones who may not want to be there, in foreign and domestic situations, risking their lives for the freedoms we so often take for granted. For your service and your courage, I say thank you.
To the women and the minorities who fought for the right for all American citizens to have a vote. It was your ideals and strength to seek fairness, that helped this nation move forward. For your determination, I say thank you.
To the African Americans who were militant enough to stand up and physically fight and put fear into the hearts of White America, and to the African Americans who had the insight to change opinions through peaceful examples, and whatever it was the led them to know the difference between the two, and which action was appropriate at the given time, I say thank you.
To White Americans, young and old, who instantly recognized that any racism is/was wrong, and had the strength to be that voice of opposition, when the government and much of society said that it was allowable to treat a Black man as 3/5 of a man, I say thank you.
To the parents, counselors, mentors and whoever molds the minds of our next generation who use today's inauguration as an example for that youth who is Mexican American, gay, handicapped, or any other way different from what society says that you "should" be, and shows them that now, truly anything is possible in America, I say thank you...and don't ever forget.
In no particular order, I'd like to thank our military. Oh sure, some choose military service as an act of patriotism. However, there are some who see the military as their only economic option out of their situation while growing up. Those are the ones who may not want to be there, in foreign and domestic situations, risking their lives for the freedoms we so often take for granted. For your service and your courage, I say thank you.
To the women and the minorities who fought for the right for all American citizens to have a vote. It was your ideals and strength to seek fairness, that helped this nation move forward. For your determination, I say thank you.
To the African Americans who were militant enough to stand up and physically fight and put fear into the hearts of White America, and to the African Americans who had the insight to change opinions through peaceful examples, and whatever it was the led them to know the difference between the two, and which action was appropriate at the given time, I say thank you.
To White Americans, young and old, who instantly recognized that any racism is/was wrong, and had the strength to be that voice of opposition, when the government and much of society said that it was allowable to treat a Black man as 3/5 of a man, I say thank you.
To the parents, counselors, mentors and whoever molds the minds of our next generation who use today's inauguration as an example for that youth who is Mexican American, gay, handicapped, or any other way different from what society says that you "should" be, and shows them that now, truly anything is possible in America, I say thank you...and don't ever forget.
Inauguration Hope
In theory, every inauguration should bring about this same feeling of hope and change, however 2009 is obviously different. I have encountered many folks, like myself, who are very cynical about the American political process, that are excited about the potential of this administration.
I've always maintained that the longer a politician has been part of the process, the harder it is for him to stay true to his ideals. So, while the person may have entered the political arena with admirable intentions, having to make certain deals to get certain things done can cause one's beliefs and actions to become obscured. President Obama's meteoric ascent through political levels has allowed him to possibly still accomplish things and policies and not "owe" as many others, where an older politician might fail.
I'm still holding onto my cynicism, but I'm much more open now to change that view than I've been in many years. I can only hope that this administration does abuse the hope stirred within myself and many others.
I've always maintained that the longer a politician has been part of the process, the harder it is for him to stay true to his ideals. So, while the person may have entered the political arena with admirable intentions, having to make certain deals to get certain things done can cause one's beliefs and actions to become obscured. President Obama's meteoric ascent through political levels has allowed him to possibly still accomplish things and policies and not "owe" as many others, where an older politician might fail.
I'm still holding onto my cynicism, but I'm much more open now to change that view than I've been in many years. I can only hope that this administration does abuse the hope stirred within myself and many others.
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